ELDER, THE PUMPKIN CUTTER

You must have seen the sort of elderly man who
lives in a family and is always ready, day and night,
to entertain the children. He sits in the parlour and
smokes the hubble-bubble. With nothing in
particular to do, he leads a lazy life. Now and again
he goes to the inner court and cuts a pumpkin; for
since women do not cut pumpkins, they send the
children to ask him to come and do it. This is the
extent of his usefulness - hence his nickname,
'Elder, the pumpkin cutter.'
He is neither a man of the world nor a devotee of
God. That is not good.

A WORLDLING IS A POOR EXPONENT OF THE SASTRAS

A MAN wanted to engage a Bhagavata pandit who
could explain the Bhagavata to him. His friend
said: "I know of an excellent pandit. But there is
one difficulty; he does a great deal of farming. He
has four ploughs and eight bullocks and is always
busy with them; he has no leisure." Thereupon
the man said: "I don't care for a pandit who has no
leisure.
I am not looking for a Bhagavata scholar burdened
with ploughs and bullocks. I want a pandit who
can really expound the sacred book to me."

HOW THEY QUARREL!

IT is not good to say that what we ourselves think
of God is the only truth and what others think is
false; that because we think of God as formless,
therefore He is formless and cannot have any
form; that because we think of God as having
form, therefore He has form and cannot be
formless. Can a man really fathom God's nature?
This kind of friction exists between the Vaishnavas
and the Saktas. The Vaishnava says, 'My Kesava is
the only Saviour', whereas the Sakta insists, 'My
Bhagavati is the only Saviour.'
Once I took Vaishnavacharan8 to Mathur Babu9.
Mathur welcomed him with great courtesy and fed
him from silver plates. Now, Vaishnavacharan was
a very learned Vaishnava and an orthodox devotee
of his sect.
Mathur, on the other hand, was a devotee of the
Divine Mother. They were engaged in a friendly
discussion when suddenly Vaishnavacharan said,
"Kesava is the only Saviour." No sooner did
Mathur hear this than his face became red with
anger and he blurted out, "You rascal!" He was a
Sakta. Wasn't it natural for him to say like that? I
gave Vaishnavacharan a nudge!

THE PLUNDERERS WHO GO ABOUT AS RELIGIOUS

THERE was a goldsmith who kept a jewellery
shop. He looked like a great devotee, a true
Vaishnava, with beads round his neck, rosary in his
hand, and the holy marks on his forehead.
Naturally people trusted him and came to his shop
on business. They thought that, being such a pious
man, he would never cheat them. Whenever a
party of customers entered the shop, they would
hear one of his craftsmen say, 'Kesava! Kesava!'
Another would say after a while, 'Gopal! Gopal!'
Then a third would mutter, 'Hari! Hari!' Finally
someone would say, 'Hara! Hara!' Now these are,
as you know, different names of God. Hearing so
much chanting of God's names the customers
naturally thought thai this goldsmith must be a
very superior person. But can you guess the
goldsmith's true intention? The man who said
'Kesava! Kesava!' meant to ask, 'Who are these?
Who are these customers?' The man who said
'Gopal! Gopal!' conveyed the idea that the
customers were merely a herd of cows. That was
the estimate he formed of them after the exchange
of a few words. The man who said 'Hari! Hail!'
asked, 'Since they are no better than a herd of
cows, then may we rob them?" He who said 'Hara!
Hara!' gave his assent, meaning by these words,
'Do rob by all means, since they are mere cows!'

THE JACKAL THAT WON'T LEAVE THE COMPANY OF A BULLOCK

ONCE a jackal saw a bullock and would not give
up his company. The bullock roamed about and
the jackal followed him. The jackal thought: "There
hang the bullock's testicles. Sometime or other they
will drop to the ground and I shall eat them."
When the bullock slept on the ground, the jackal
lay down too, and when the bullock moved about,
the jackal followed him. Many days passed in this
way, but the bullock's testicles still clung to his
body. The jackal went away disappointed.
That also happens to flatterers. They think that the
rich man will loosen his purse strings for them. But
it is very difficult to get anything from him.

THERE ARE SUCH MEN INDEED!

TT is not mentioned in their 'Science' that God can
take human form; so how can they believe it?
There are such men indeed!
Listen to a story. A man said to his friend, "I have
just seen a house fall down with a terrific crash."
Now, the friend to whom he told this had received
an English education. He said: "Just a minute. Let
me look it up in the newspaper." He read the paper
but could not find the news of a house falling
down with a crash. Thereupon he said to his
friend: "Well, I don't believe you. It isn't in the
paper; so it is all false."

WHEN ALL TEETH FELL

LET me tell you a story. A man used to celebrate
the Durga Puja at his house with great pomp.
Goats were sacrificed from sunrise to sunset. But
after a few years the sacrifice was not so imposing.
Then someone said to him, "How is it, sir, that the
sacrifice at your place has become such a tame
affair?" "Don't you see?" he said, "My teeth are
gone now."